By Barbara L. Behrmann, PhD
2005 The University of Michigan Press, Ann Arbor
http://www.press.umich.edu
http://www.breastfeedingcafe.com
ISBN: 047206875X
Price: $19.95 paper 311 pgs
Reviewed by Nasima Pfaffl
A sociologist by training, Barbara Behrmann weaves
together social insight, a touch of feminism, women’s own voices, and her own
breastfeeding experiences to create a truly
wonderful book. The Breastfeeding Café
is well researched and built on interviews with a great diversity of mothers
from across the country. References and
quotes are sprinkled between women’s stories, making this an informative but
inherently easy book to read and enjoy. Certainly a book worth recommending to
both expectant and experienced mothers who will find support and commonality in
the great variety of personalities, subjects, and stories included in the book.
Barbara covers the gambit of emotions and
experiences with nursing: from exquisite love and contentment at the sight of a
sleeping child smiling with a nipple in its mouth; to great feelings of
accomplishment and pride at watching a child grow healthy and big through the
nourishment a woman’s own body provided; to anguish and tenacity in the face of
challenges; to healing from difficult situations. With great humor and
affection she weaves together the intimate experiences of mothers and their
babies as they nourish each other and navigate the sometimes ecstatic and
playful to the difficult and sad relationship of nursing and weaning. Nine
chapters’ present women’s stories grouped in themes.
Of special note chapter seven focuses specifically
on the embodied nature of nursing and on the contradictions of sexuality and
intimacy involved in this relationship and in society. She presents stories of
women navigating nursing in public; some with stories of hiding in bathrooms to
others standing their ground even in the
face of insistent store and restaurant managers. My favorite ironic account is
of a woman nursing a toddler in a Hooters bar and standing up to the scantily
clad waitress who is telling her to leave. She also presents accounts of the
sexualized nature of breasts and the realities of balancing closeness with your
child and your partner. Women recounted stories of trying to have sex, nursing
an awoken child, and then returning to try to have sex again. Don’t many
nursing moms understand this scenario? This book is remarkable for its intimacy
and honesty of women’s daily lives.
It’s also remarkable for its humor and playfulness.
This is the first book on breastfeeding I’ve come across that so intimately and
sweetly shares the playfulness of mothers, babies, and breast. My favorite
account details how a mother would playfully lift her shirt as her baby crawled
toward her from across the room and as her baby got close she would hide her
breast and the baby would squeal with delight. There are several similar
stories of humor and antics included in chapter four. The book is filled with
sweet honest moments like this that are seldom shared. Great cartoons from Baby
Blues Partnership also accent the humor of nursing and mothering throughout the
book.
In the closing chapter Barbara discusses the future
of breastfeeding and makes suggestions for action. She states, “Telling our
stories is an act of power, of taking control of our own life, of helping other
women in theirs. It is, above all, a
starting point. My hope is that the
stories in The Breastfeeding Café
will give women the courage and permission to dispel myths, reveal secrets, and
be honest” (pg 292). I concur. There are many books out there that explore the
benefits of breastfeeding, but The Breastfeeding Café lays open the trials
and joys of real women who have been there at 3
am. Through these stories we can learn from each other and say “wow
I wasn’t the only one.” The book makes nursing more visible, appreciated, and
understood, and provides a critical opportunity for women to learn from and
support each other in the day to day realities of breastfeeding in a
bottle-feeding culture.
Overall I think this is a remarkable book. My only
criticism is an academic one. As a sociologist myself I would have liked an
appendix or small section that described her research methodology including information
on how many women she interviewed or received accounts from online, when these
were collected, how they were analyzed etc.
For most readers this is hardly a drawback, but it’s the one thing I was
left wondering about.
Whether you’ve called them nanas, num nums, bas,
boobies, milkies etc. you will find stories you can relate to and learn from in
The Breastfeeding Café. Hats off to Barbara Behrmann on an excellent
and much needed honest and delightful book on the many experiences we share in
nursing and mothering our children.
Reprinted from Citizens for Midwifery News, Summer 2006. Permission to reprint with attribution.